Rewards are intended to encourage behavior. Giving your child something they want or will appreciate is one way to encourage any behavior. Small children will usually appreciate colorful stickers, treats, toys and compliments. Older kids prefer things like video games, going to movies or being placed in some special status within a class, group or family.

In most cases parents will reward a specific behavior with a specific gift. Specific and consistent rewards that follow a desired behavior is an effective way to start, but periodic and occasional rewards later on create a lasting impact. Children become persistent when they are rewarded periodically and not all the time. One great way to reward a child is to simply make a child's life more wonderful for a day or part of a day. Nearly all kids, especially young children, value time, adventures and activities with their parents. This might include playing games, building things, going for walks and reading to your child. Rewards are very effective when they are used as part of a celebration or acknowledgment of your child's behavior. One of the best ways to find out what is truly rewarding to your child is to first notice what your child enjoys doing most. After your child does well, plan to spend time with your child and become involved in the activities they enjoy.

Punishment

A useful definition of punishment is anything unpleasant or painful that follows what your child did that makes them stop, escape or avoid what they did in the future. This would include a swat on the bottom, getting upset, making them do something over, taking away privileges or giving them chores. As you can imagine, punishment is a very controversial subject. Punishing a child doesn't mean you are necessarily inflicting physical pain. Taking away a privilege is less effective than requiring them to practice more appropriate behavior or giving children extra chores. At the same time, taking away a privilege for a period of time while allowing your child to earn their privileges back sooner is often highly effective. Grounding children and time-outs are only effective if the child has the opportunity to correct or rectify the situation. Making a child think about what they did wrong is not nearly as important as practice doing it correctly and feeling good after the effort. Grounding children for weeks is only effective if you also need to remove them from a problem and the influence of other kids. It is better to remove privileges, let them earn them back through chores and making amends for their behavior. This might include written apologies, community service and extra work.
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