"Susan. It's time to go home."
"No Daddy. I want to stay and play."
"Susan. It is time to go home. Dinner is ready."
"Please Daddy. I can eat here."
"I understand Susan. Is there anything else you want to say.
"No. I just want to stay and play a little while longer."
"Susan. It is time to go home. I want you to come with me now."
"But Daddy… It's not fair."
I looked at her until I counted to 15 and then I said "Is there anything else you want to say."
She paused and finally said, "Dalton, I have to go."
Raising and disciplining children is a challenge. No parenting subject is filled with more disagreement and inconsistency than the issue of discipline. Deciding on the best way to discipline children is confusing to many parents and even educators. For instance, many children who are strong willed, have leadership potential or are challenged academically don't respond well to many forms of discipline.
Regardless of the approach you use, children invariably need,
- - Guidance is providing supervision, structure, routines and periodic monitoring of your child's behavior, performance and level of success. Children need parents who become more involved with their children when they begin to fail or make mistakes.
- - Instruction is providing children with examples, information and explanations regarding expectations. Children need parents who provide information upon which children can solve problems and make choices.
- - Training is providing children with activities that require practice and corrective action. Children need to practice what is expected in order to succeed. Routines are essential.
- - Choices involve allowing children freedom and opportunities within limits to be curious, explore, make decisions and learn based on the outcome. Children need to explore the physical and social world within safe limits that insure opportunities for success and occasional failure that is not overwhelming.
- - Consequences involve allowing children to discover the natural result of their actions. Some consequences must be imposed by parents or caregivers. Children need parents who monitor and create consequence that do not overwhelm their child with failure but rather inspire effort to succeed.
- - Emotionally bonded relationships. Children and parents form emotional bonds when they are involved in activities together where children face challenges. These bonds result in caring and consideration for others as well as self-confidence. Children need parents who can maintain emotional bonds even when their child is punished. Discipline should never threaten the bond between a parent and a child.
MORE