WHAT CAN I DO?
1. Accept what is. We typically react to situations we don't like by resisting. We focus on what should be, sometimes totally failing to deal with what is really going on. The more we try to force the situation to be the way we want, the more anger we feel and the more resistance we create. We usually end up going round and round in circles while nothing really changes.
The alternative is to accept reality. That doesn't mean you have to like it but you probably have to work with it. The more you can accept what is and work with it the sooner you'll be able to find a path that will lead you to a better future.
2. Control Anxiety. Anxiety is our ability to imagine futures where the worst that can happen, does. We need to get some balance, to visualize the positive as well as the negative outcomes. Planning for possible problems is useful, but planning for success is essential. It can be hard to see the positives in some situations. At that time it helps to get feedback form a friend or a neutral third party. Check out if your projections are realistic. Sometimes relaxation exercises can help us get our emotions back under control. Try alternately tensing and then relaxing the major muscle groups in you body, starting with your arms and hands, then your legs, chest, shoulders and neck. Hot baths, a massage, relaxation tapes or even just listening to music can help to drain the tension and adrenaline and get some perspective on the situation.
3. Focus on the moment. How we fell can depend on the things we occupy our thoughts with. Practice focussing your entire attention on just what you are doing right now. Keep yourself in the very moment you are in; put your mind in the present. Focus your attention on physical sensations that accompany non-mental tasks ( e.g. walking, washing, doing dishes, yard work). Be aware of how your body moves during each task. Find or create some meaning or value in the pain you're feeling. Focus on whatever positive aspects you can find in a painful situation. Repeat them over and over in your mind. Make lemonade out of lemons.
4. Set limits on your pain. Allow yourself to feel the pain fully for a while - a few minutes, an hour, half a day. When the time limit expires DO SOMETHING! Go for a walk, write down your pain, talk to a friend, do something soothing for yourself. If the pain starts to return - banish it. Give yourself some time when you really need it to feel the pain - but don't wallow in it.
5. Give of yourself. Although you may feel that you have nothing left to give it can sometimes help to find ways to assist others even less fortunate than you. Realize that you can still make a difference in people's lives, that you do still have a lot to offer. Many people have started or participated in self help groups where they can help others who are in the same situation. Whatever avenue you choose - do something that allows you to focus on others and reduces the time you spend thinking about your own pain.
If your depression is severe consider seeking help from a therapist or your family doctor. Remember, depression can be successfully treated and there is no need to prolong the suffering.